Drenda’s Blog – Title: She Gets It

I have spent most of my life searching for IT.

 

Perhaps you have as well. If so, you know something of my personal quest and struggle to find the answer to the frightening question, “Who am I?” Unsure of who I was, I was left on my own to figure out how to live my life as a woman—to discover what would make me happy and how I could find true success as well as relationships that wouldn’t disappoint me and leave me broken.

 

Not surprisingly, my search led me into the women’s movement, with its promises of freedom to lead and plan my own life and control my destiny. Convinced that I could never trust men, I vowed to never allow a man to hurt me or to experience divorce, which I reasoned could be solved simply by just not getting married in the first place. Magazines, women’s television programs, and self-help books told me “who” I was supposed to be, but their definition of womanhood was always changing just enough to keep me confused and yet chasing the elusive carrot and buying all their wares. They never told me “how” to truly be happy, and I never found out precisely what feminism is.

 

I lived through the “Whatever Feels Good, Just Do It” age, and I understand why so many of today’s women are asking, “WHAT are we doing? WHO are we, anyway?” With so many different messages on womanhood being bantered around today, women are rightfully confused. What had once offered women security in life has been taken away, and women have been left to rummage through the remnants of passed decades and movements in the hopes of finding some meaning to life. After living this life for forty-plus years, I can finally say, “I GET IT!” And “IT” is not what most women think “IT” is.

 

I wrote She Gets It to provide other women with answers that help them find their identity and value and show them how to make life choices that bring the real desire that every woman has—to be loved and to love the woman she has become, through all the seasons and changes of life. I have learned that most women’s magazines, such as Cosmopolitan, don’t know what “IT” is, and most female talk show hosts really don’t have “IT” themselves, and they can’t give away what they don’t have. Rather, they can only offer women their flawed viewpoints of life—primarily how to be financially and professionally successful, divorced and “playing the field” single—but the result of following their mantras is a large contingency of lonely women. Although they may make a difference for some, their personal anecdotes fail to deliver what every woman wants to experience at the deepest level of her being.

 

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