Dollar Esteem: Keeping up with the Joneses
Probably the most devastating impact of financial stress can be seen in the breakdown of marriages and family relationships. If you are married, then you already know the effect that money, or the lack of it, can have on your marriage. Financial stress is blamed as one of the major causes of divorce. You cannot live on this earth without acknowledging the role of money and its effect on our lives.
Most people derive their self-esteem from the things they have accumulated and their position on the corporate ladder. As a follower of Christ, our goals and ambitions must be established in the correct priority if we are to have good success. I have been in many homes where the budget is stretched extremely tight, but a brand new car with a $500 payment is sitting in the driveway. Why would a family do such a thing? The reason? Their priorities are out of order and they are looking for fulfillment in the wrong place.
I remember the time I drove up to a church to visit the pastor. There were only three cars in the parking lot, and one of them was a brand-new, 5-speed, red convertible with leather interior, fully loaded with options. When I went into the church, I saw Jane, a woman I knew who had asked me two weeks ago for $100 so she could give to a special project at church. She was a single parent, and money was tight. I asked Jane if she knew whose car that was in the parking lot.
With a sheepish look, she said it was hers. I could not believe it! The temporary tags on the car were dated only two days ago. This was the same woman who had asked me for money only two weeks before. I asked Jane how much a car like that costs, and she said, “$28,000.” Her next statement shocked me.
She said, “Don’t worry, I didn’t buy the car. I just leased it.” I asked her what the payment was, and she said $500 a month. My mouth must have fallen open because then she said, “God told me to buy that car.” I walked away shaking my head, for I knew that God would not be so unwise in counsel. Why would she do such a thing? Knowing her, it was because she so desperately wanted to be someone, and that car made her feel special. I knew she would not be feeling too good about herself in future when she would have to deal with making that $500 a month payment from her already strained budget.
We all want to appear successful. God has placed the desire to succeed within each of us because God is a God of victory and success. Children do not play bankruptcy court - they pretend they are heroes, winners and presidents. Children dream of victory as they grow up. It is only when life beats us around for awhile and we fail to apply faith in the Word of God that we begin to lose our hope, our zeal, and our hunger for life. Instead of living life, we are just trying to survive life.
Our self-esteem seems to be tied to how well we are doing financially, and we will do anything to appear successful to other people. When we try to keep up with the Joneses, we open ourselves up to the snare of Satan. We must come to the realization that the things we own are not what makes us a winner or a success. Proverbs 29:25 says, “The fear of man causes a snare.” If we live our lives to please men instead of God, we will always come out discouraged, disappointed, and disillusioned.
We are to pattern our lives after the Word of God and not after the world’s definition of success. We are not going to stand before our neighbors and give an account, but we will stand before the Lord God Almighty. Many times, people who are struggling financially find that their self-esteem begins to erode. I believe this is one of the key reasons for the prevalent “mid-life crisis.” Money makes a horrible master. Jesus said in Matthew 6:24, “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.”
Because people think that having money will solve all of their problems, they look to it as their source. They serve it, or as Jesus said, they are devoted to it, and run after it. That means they make decisions and choose careers based on money instead of stopping to consider where God may be directing them. They make financial decisions that put their families at risk just to have the latest and the greatest thing on the market, or to try to bolster their own struggling egos.
Since so many people base their decisions on security or money instead of on what God has for them, they are discontented, and this discontentment shows up in what the world calls a mid-life crisis. A mid-life crisis is nothing more than an identity crisis. People struggle with knowing what the purpose is for their life. They know their life is worth more than just punching a time clock to make money, but they struggle because they have not made the choice to fully trust God with their financial future.
Without God they will never truly find contentment and purpose. God wants to be our source. Jesus said if we serve God, He will give us the same things that the pagans serve money to obtain. The problem with serving money is that in and of itself, money does not bring contentment. It is only when we are in the right place - the place that God has created for us - that we find contentment for ourselves and peace for our families.
Jane would have been much better off driving a less expensive car that she did not have to struggle to pay for. Imagine the difference it would have made for Jane and her children over the next few years if that same $500 every month had gone into a savings account instead of toward a car payment! I think in the long run, Jane would have felt better about herself and her choices. She would have found herself not just surviving life, but really living life!
